Big Tits Zombie 3D DVD!

Sunday, 17 October 2010 11:37

One thing I've learnt with Asian films, is that you can't rely on the title to tell you anything or even, seemingly, to relate to the film you're actually watching.  It appears that the Manga this is based upon was called “Kyonyu Dragon”, which is equally as baffling as the chosen title.  The DVD case blurb depicted this horror-comedy as a cross between “Zombie Strippers” (haven't seen it) and “The Evil Dead” (have seen it) and all in ‘eye-popping, in-your-face 3D!’  It was the concept of a 3D film featuring martial arts, sword-fights and even chainsaws that drew my attention. Honest!

Well, yes, it does borrow the 'reading words aloud from an old book brings the dead back to life' motif from “Evil Dead”, but that's about all.  Pity it didn't bring any comedy with it.  Perhaps the constant and palpable sense of embarrassment came from “Strippers”. Given numerous squandered opportunities BTZ3D has no redeeming features, unless you're a devotee of really bad films.  The acting is non-existent, beyond amateur, which even manages to be obvious through the sub-titles.

Big Tits Zombie DVD in 3D - in placesThe special effects are laughable and absurd; the scenery mainly appears to be an old warehouse which, in some of the fight scenes is covered with sheets of plastic, to perhaps stop the gallons of fake blood from staining.  And the fights themselves are so awful as to provide the film's only (unintentional) humour.

Having watched numerous Asian films containing sword and/or fistfights, the choreography is usually stunning, filmed in real-time with blows whistling past the hero or heroine's face, or incorporating the kind of martial arts gymnastics that so define the careers of Jackie Chan and Jet Li.  BTZ3D uses a markedly different technique for its scenes of combat – the zombies stand around almost motionless and allow the chainsaw and sword-wielding girls to hit them.  Cue the fake blood!

The zombies themselves are of the 'we bought these Halloween masks in the cheap shop and knew they'd come in handy for something' variety, with minimal actual make-up.  I can only assume that the director Takao Nakano was intentionally borrowing from the look pioneered by Troma – cheap, very cheap!  Having not viewed any of his other films (and I don't think I want to) this may well be his chosen style of cinema.

And as for the 3D ... the menu indicates that the film is presented in both 2D and 3D formats.  Given some of the motions toward camera, it's quite possible that the latter version originally intended to feature 3D throughout.  Unfortunately it only dropped into three-dimensions occasionally (signalled by a 5 second countdown) and by the time the eyes had adjusted to the glasses the brief scenes were usually over.  Perhaps the cardboard glasses that accompany the film aren't very good, but what little 3D I did see was ineffective and only subtracted further from the already disappointing experience.

Special features include cast interviews, a 'Making of' featurette, a photo gallery and trailers

BTZ3D is out now through Terracotta Distribution, with a running time of 73 minutes approx, an ‘18’ certificate, and a RRP of £14.99 – or get it for less at www.culttvstore.com

Last modified on Thursday, 10 May 2012 16:37

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